Monday, February 15, 2010

tabula rasa

sometimes i feel as though we treat everyone as if they are a blank slate (tabula rasa as john locke's theory of development is called). they don't have anything on their mind. they don't have worries, or fears or convictions that are weighing them down. they don't have lives apart from our encounters with them. they are empty vessels.

the more i realize how full my slate is, the more i think about tabula rasa as a load of crap. not the developmental theory of nurture over nature, but how it plays out in our lives. i have thought about that before, and thought about how people expect me to go to class and engage, and pay attention to the teacher, and be happy, and nice to them, and i think, "if they only know what was on my slate today..."

then there was today. today, for the first time, i thought of other people's slates. i thought and wondered what he was thinking. i wondered what she was stressing about. i wondered what they were being driven by... for the first time, my awareness of my slate transferred to everyone else. they have crap they are carrying as well. they get annoyed with people. they run out of money, and have crappy nights of sleep, and lots of homework and hurts. their slates are full as well.

a friend recently said he gave extra grace when he knows people are having a rough time. and i think that is awesome. and i do that all the time. but at that i said something to the effect of, "shouldn't we do that for everyone?" but i couldn't communicate what i was thinking, so the words drifted off. they return to me now. everyone has something on their slate, and whether we know it or not, don't they deserve extra grace? it is easier when we know what they are going through, but does that mean we should treat them differently when we don't know? i don't think so.

as i think about it, i wonder how this will change me. how i can grow to love people more and demonstrate my love better, and extend to them grace. because i know from my experience their slate is not empty.

Lord, i want that grace.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

pride or grace

a choice we have,
each, every day.
which way we live
in that day.

pride is one.
to please the self,
and grace the other:
to give way

to what He'd done
for us that day.
and cry aloud
"i'll take Your grace
and i surrender,
for You are the Way."

so will you choose
to live today
in this moment,
by pride or grace?