What did you learn from YM 310 this semester?
I think that the main thing I learned through both the class and through my “Malcolm Provision” at my church was how important relationships are. It was not so much of a new thing that I learned, but it was something that I was reminded of on several occasions, and something that I experienced firsthand. Before, I had heard how important relationships and keeping up good ones was for ministry and overall church health, but it seems to have been hounded on me this semester. Even though I grew up in a church whose motto was “It’s all about Relationships,” I saw its importance this semester, and how it can be applied in youth ministry in a couple different facets.
First, during our discussions on all of the questions we answered before classes, we would consider who the student was that asked it. I had never thought specifically about who the student was and how we could be sensitive to them. This sensitivity, and even knowing from what type of life and situation a question may be coming from, can only be learned through an on-going relationship with students. Also in the lecture part of the class, the section on the different roles of a youth worker struck me with the same idea. The role of the shepherd especially stood out to me, and how we can be in a position to guard and look after students. Again, much of the ways we can do this, are within a relationship with students, like warning them about how certain friends may not be the best choice of people to hang out with. If I told any student I did not know this, they would probably shrug it off, laugh at me, or worse. For this protecting and guiding role of a shepherd, having a relationship with students is vital.
I noticed this in my own Jr. High youth group that I have been able to lead for this whole school year. There is a particular student in the group, Noah who I was able to meet with almost once a week last semester. The thing that I noticed about him was that his attention level during the lessons at youth group would wax and wane depending on how much time we had spent hanging out lately. It seemed like every time we couldn’t meet for a couple weeks because of both of our busy schedules, he was much less attentive in youth group, and actually tended to distract people from what we were talking about rather than encouraging his fellow students to pay better attention as he sometimes did. Again, hanging out and building up a relationship was key in this situation.
Also, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Shaping the Spiritual Lives of Students by Dunn. The book’s main point is that a good spiritual leader of youth walks with youth. The concept of pacing was not an astonishingly new idea, but the way Dunn wrote and recalled a story of when he was walking with his son, and he began to walk too fast struck me very powerfully. I realized I was “walking too fast” with my teaching. Since then, I have done my best to slow it down, and to pace with the students in my youth group in order to meet them where they are at and build up relationships with them to know how to teach them, and what to teach them about.
Another thing I learned through the class about relationships is that they are likewise very important to build with everyone who is involved or may be affected by the youth ministry. To explain this, I will use two examples I learned from because of this class. The First is the book, Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry. I read this book as collateral reading, and met with my youth pastor to discuss each chapter. One thing that Doug Fields spent some time talking about was the importance to have good relationships with those in your church, including volunteer staff and parents. Again, this point was brought to my attention. The final way that I was exposed to the importance of relationships to youth ministry was through Spring Thaw. At first glance, big retreats are not my favorite model of youth ministry because it seems like there is a lack of relationships because they are so fast. But what I did notice and learn was how to work with others in the planning of an event. For instance, we heard Rob talk a lot about how he was negotiating with departments around the school to get things and space needed for the event. What struck me was how carefully this was done, so as to preserve, and even build relationships in the process of planning a large-scale youth event. It showed me once again how important of a factor it is in ministry.
Overall, almost everything I did this semester for class, and for my job at my church with the Jr. High, pointed to the importance of relationships. They are crucial, and yet they cannot be taken lightly. I cannot walk up to any old person in my church or youth group and tell them that we have a great relationship, and it be true. We have to work at it. It takes time. It takes sacrifice, and sweat, and frustration. But in the end, relationships are what ministry to youth is all about, and are what create effective ministry, and what keeps people in ministry. They are definitely worth the effort.
