after the turning point

"Ready.

My life right now is defined by the word. Ready. It's as if I am sitting on the brink of the rest of my life, waiting. I'm ready for so many things. I am ready for camp to start. I am ready to try to run it. I am ready to talk about Jesus. I am ready to be done waiting. I am ready to be done with restriction. I am ready to be done planning, for planning can go on forever. I am ready to Go, and Ido. I may fail, but i am ready. I am ready to be reunited with the girl i love. I am ready to be married. I am ready to start school again. I am ready.

I feel as though i have been sitting and waiting. Not waiting in laziness, but waiting nonetheless. I'm through waiting. I hate feeling as though I can't do anything YET. My backpack is on. My load is here. Jesus I am ready to be used by You. You are my King. I am ready for battle.

I am here.
I am ready.
Ready..."

From the third entry in my journal, July 19, 2009